"I thought, 'Am I just being a baby?' It was a hard line to decipher. There were times when I had been a baby. But I had to open my mind and my heart and as tough as it was to admit to myself, I had to realize that I was hurt.
"Athletes pride ourselves on being really tough. So we'll try to hang in, in any situation. And it was an Olympic year, too. So the fog in my head was really thick."
Johnson says she now knows the reason behind what happened to her in '08. "It was God's plan," she believes. "Without a doubt, what happened was to be my journey. God had laid out that plan for me.
"I had a storybook college season in '07 and I went into '08 feeling that the season was all about me. I forgot who had given me the talent I have and that was God. I had to be very, very humbled and remember that I needed to use my talent to glorify God."
As her faith was renewed, Johnson says, "I realized again that God wanted me to see Him in everything that had happened. My faith can't be shaken now. My strength was given to me by God. I can turn around and glorify Him through my running."
She admits that there was no other way for her to renew her faith than through the travails of being injured. She adds, "It has made this year that much sweeter. I know it's God's plan. I have a confidence in races like never before. I'm so grateful for the journey."
After the '08 Trials, Johnson didn't compete again until early April of last season. She placed 7th at USATF--on the same Eugene track where she suffered in her Trials prelim the year before--then ran six meets in Europe. She got down to an '09 best of 2:01.09 in her final meet in Leverkusen and ended up earning a No. 6 U. S. Ranking.
"The '09 season was another confidence booster," Johnson points out. "I didn't start back running until that March, so I had no base established at all. Yet I was able to run 2:01 after basically rehabbing all year. That really boosted me."
Last fall and winter, Johnson rebuilt that all-important training base and her successful indoor campaign was one result. Then, she competed only once--in the 4x4 at Penn--between mid-March and USATF.
She laughs, "Yeah, I got sick. I had long flights over to Doha for the World Indoor and back after. I tried to get right back into things, trainingwise, because I wanted to run at Penn. But I didn't want to be the slowest leg on the relay. It was like a rush order."
After not being able to break 2:00 in a 600-meter time trial, coach Tony Sandoval sent Johnson to her folks' home in Canyon Country, north of Los Angeles.
"I just slept for something like two days straight," Johnson admits. "I had zero energy for two weeks, then just worked on rebuilding myself. I learned about rest from the episode.
"If an athlete is smart, he or she will learn from it. God can have a funny way to show us things sometimes. Athletes want to rely on themselves so much."
Johnson then made her individual outdoor debut at nationals and clocked 1:59.87 to reclaim the U.S. title she last won in '07. "It was very satisfying to be able to run well again," she acknowledges. "But it was just a step ladder to where I wanted to get."
Her first international race of the '10 campaign came in a loaded Pre Classic contest won by Russia's Mariya Savinova in 1:57.56, her PR and also the fastest two-lapper ever run on U.S. soil. Johnson finished 5th in her own career best of 1:58.84, second American to NCAA champ Phoebe Wright (PR 1:58.22) in 4th.
"I knew I was ready to run fast at Pre and I wanted to use the opportunity," Johnson says. "I made a couple of mistakes, but it got me excited. I couldn't wait to get to my next race."
Johnson knew the biggest error she made at Pre: "I felt great with 300 to go. There was some wind on the last backstretch so I waited to make a move until going around the last turn. When I did move, it wasn't definitive. So I learned that when I make the decision to go for it, do it hard."
Which is exactly what Johnson did in her next outing at the Gateshead Diamond League meet. She says, "I was tired because it was my first race in Europe. But when I went to pass, I did it definitely. So that boosted my confidence, as well as feeling I could win even when I was jet-lagged."
Then it was on to Lignano. It was an intimate setting in a small stadium with a six-lane track. Eight of the nine entrants were Americans, so Johnson had a relaxed, familiar feeling about her challengers.
She followed the 57-second tempo set by the pacer, 400 hurdler Dominique Darden. American Anna Pierce ran close behind Johnson through the first 550 meters. Johnson took the lead with about 170 to go, with Pierce, Maggie Vessey, Morgan Uceny and Molly Beckwith trailing closely in a line.
Johnson never looked back. Heading into the homestretch, she enjoyed a 10-meter gap over Vessey, who took over 2nd with about 120-meters left. Johnson's 1:57.85 led home Vessey (1:59.00) and the PRs by Uceny (1:59.29) and Beckwith (1:59.93). Pierce dropped back to 5th in 2:00.79 ahead of Heidi Dahl (2:02.14) and Treniere Moser (2:03.29) in 6th and 7th.
The finish was a rare instance in a women's 800 not held at an Olympic Trials when four Americans ducked under 2:00. (It had also happened at Pre when Pierce in 6th at 1:59.42 and Vessey in 9th at 1:59.90 followed Wright and Johnson across the line.)
"I don't remember having any outward reaction to the time," Johnson says. "I was so into myself. I didn't even know I had run that fast. But once I realized it, that got me excited for the next race."
And that came in Monaco. Again Johnson followed pacer Yekaterina Kostetskaya, who set a 56.09, 1:27.33 tempo. She took command into the final bend and once again just kept on going to finish comfortably ahead of Britain's Jemma Simpson (1:58.74 PR) and Pierce (a season's best of 1:58.89), with Wright (1:59.21) in 6th.
After the contest, she told correspondent Phil Minshull, "My game plan as just to go out and run hard. That's my game plan every single time now.
"I was feeling confident about winning here after Lignano, so I'm satisfied. I was really relaxed out there, even though it's my first time to race in Monaco."
Johnson gives huge credit for her career successes, and especially her return this year, to Cal's Tony Sandoval, her coach since college. "He has been such a consistent influence for me," she says. "He spent five years getting to know me, learning my ins and outs and seeing my ups and downs.
"Tony has been a great force in my life. He has watched me, to see how I respond to things, or should respond. He has been the eyes I can see myself."
She also thanks her Bay Area Track Club teammates for their support, athletes like 1500 star Shannon Rowbury, emerging miler David Torrence and Beijing Olympic marathoner Magdalena Lewy Boulet.
"They have all been so important to me," says Johnson. "Not only as training partners, but just as friends to bounce things off of. They all have been important mentally as well as physically.
"We can get so stuck in just being an athlete, but you learn by balancing the sport with family and friends. There is so much out there in life and we have fun off the track as well as on it."
Besides her fast running, a mark of Johnson's throughout her career as been the flower she wears tucked behind her right ear. No matter the race or where it's being run, the blossom is always there.
"Yes, the flower is my trademark," Johnson agrees. "I grew up in a family with several brothers, as well as boy cousins. I would play all the sports they did and when you do that, you learn to be tough. I played football with the guys and I held my own.
"I gained a sense of athleticism competing with the guys, but even then I wore a flower. I guess it was to make a statement—it's pretty but this flower can have a whole lot of bite.
"I just appreciate the differences in people. In track, I think individuals can sometimes be lost in the crowd. But I don't want to be lost in the crowd so I have worn the flower.
"I guess the flower is a metaphor for a lot of things for me. Running puts you out front, so it gives some individualism. And yes, the flower could symbolize the renewal of my career this year."
For the future, Johnson isn't one to limit how fast she can run. "All athletes look for improvement," she says. "I certainly do and I don't have a complacent mindset at all. But I don't think about getting X time--if I do that, then what about Y time or Z time?
"I just feel there are great times ahead. Only God knows what those times ultimately will be. I'm just so thankful for the opportunity to improve."
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