Are you an old geezer if:


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Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:47 am

Are you an old geezer if:
1. You hate people with headphones singing on the gym machine next to you.
2. You hate old geezers who talk in movies.
3. You think Jesse Williams’ socks are cool.
4. You suffer from IVF’s (involuntary flatulence) when doing sit ups in the gym and there is (always) a younger person of the opposite sex nearby.
5. You resent the torrent coming from the 10 year old next to you at the urinal.
6. Tight skin annoys you.
7. You have to think about taking longer steps.
8. You drive around to find the nearest parking space to the gym door, then do a 3 mile workout.
9. You talk to an empty chair.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Sat Sep 08, 2012 12:16 pm

jeremyp wrote:Are you an old geezer if:
1. You hate people with headphones singing on the gym machine next to you.
2. You hate old geezers who talk in movies.
3. You think Jesse Williams’ socks are cool.
4. You suffer from IVF’s (involuntary flatulence) when doing sit ups in the gym and there is (always) a younger person of the opposite sex nearby.
5. You resent the torrent coming from the 10 year old next to you at the urinal.
6. Tight skin annoys you.
7. You have to think about taking longer steps.
8. You drive around to find the nearest parking space to the gym door, then do a 3 mile workout.
9. You talk to an empty chair.

I am an old geezer, but
1. no
2. no, I hate people texting on their cell.
3. no
4. no
5. no
6. no
7. yes :(
8. no, I look for the shady spot.
9. that's just Clint
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Rye Catcher » Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:39 pm

Too many assumptions about the gym

1. Anyone walking around in public with headsets on should be shot.
2. Wait a bit and watch on your big screen HD TV. Fart to your hearts content.
3. Who is Jessie Williams and who cares?
4. Farting is how geezers prevent bloating.
5. Your taller than he is, just turn in his direction and piss on him.
6. Tight skin? If you bend over far enough, all the skin on your ass will appear tight.
7. Walk around it.
8. Use your handicap sticker and cut out that old granny from that nifty spot close in at the market. She can user her walker.
9. Of course, you don't want that bastard talking back.

Marlow does not have a clue. Too many days at sea.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Bruce Kritzler » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:04 am

3. no, but I like Erik Kinyard's.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Sun Sep 09, 2012 6:43 am

Rye Catcher wrote:Marlow does not have a clue. Too many days at sea.

In my 20 years in Uncle Sam's Canoe Club, I spent MAYBE 6 days at sea . . . so there!
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby odelltrclan » Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:47 am

jeremyp wrote:Are you an old geezer if:
1. You hate people with headphones singing on the gym machine next to you.
2. You hate old geezers who talk in movies.
3. You think Jesse Williams’ socks are cool.
4. You suffer from IVF’s (involuntary flatulence) when doing sit ups in the gym and there is (always) a younger person of the opposite sex nearby.
5. You resent the torrent coming from the 10 year old next to you at the urinal.
6. Tight skin annoys you.
7. You have to think about taking longer steps.
8. You drive around to find the nearest parking space to the gym door, then do a 3 mile workout.
9. You talk to an empty chair.


Thanks for this post. They say laughter is the best medicine and this gave me some good medicine today!! And I am not even to 50 yet.

2. I hate when anyone talks during movies.
4. More places than just the gym unfortunately!
5. Not just the 10 year old, but anyone who still has the ability.

How about all those annoying SOB's who wear their pants in such a manner as to allow us to see most, if not all of their underwear.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:20 am

odelltrclan wrote:How about all those annoying SOB's who wear their pants in such a manner as to allow us to see most, if not all of their underwear.

Yeah, how silly is this?
http://thegrio.files.wordpress.com/2011 ... .jpg?w=488

On the other hand, people object to my fashion sense too . . .
http://www.fengtastic.com/wp-content/up ... ndpa-1.jpg
:P
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby odelltrclan » Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:28 am

:lol: :lol: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The funny thing about those pictures. The kids think it is cool. The old guys realize it may not be, but they just don't care. Maybe it something that is earned after putting up with the world for so many years.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby lonewolf » Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:50 am

At 81, (or is it 82?) I qualify as an old geezer on most counts enumerated. Except for the "old" part. :)

But, to pick a nit: The thread is phrased as a question. Are these jeremey's personal annoyances and he is asking if they qualify him for geezerhood? Or, is he seeking solace in knowng that others of a certain age share his idiosyncracies?

Some are symptoms of geezerness, some are applicable to all ages but the list is far from exhaustive. In fact, exhaustion is a common trait among geezers.

As is:
Disapproval of: Ostentatious consumption.
Waste of anything that is still useful.
Overly exuberant public displays of affection.
Much/most of what passes for music and entertainment now-a-days.
Excessive and disfiguring piercing and tattoos.

And, most important: Soccer replacing baseball as the national youth sport. (Admittedly, they get more exercise but, somehow, it just ain't American. :)
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:12 am

Marlow wrote:
odelltrclan wrote:How about all those annoying SOB's who wear their pants in such a manner as to allow us to see most, if not all of their underwear.

Yeah, how silly is this?
http://thegrio.files.wordpress.com/2011 ... .jpg?w=488

On the other hand, people object to my fashion sense too . . .
http://www.fengtastic.com/wp-content/up ... ndpa-1.jpg
:P

:shock:
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:17 am

Rye Catcher wrote:5. Your taller than he is, just turn in his direction and piss on him.
Tried that. My hearing comes up Monday.
6. Tight skin? If you bend over far enough, all the skin on your ass will appear tight.
But then my belly sags.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:20 am

lonewolf wrote:At 81, (or is it 82?) I qualify as an old geezer on most counts enumerated. Except for the "old" part. :)

But, to pick a nit: The thread is phrased as a question. Are these jeremey's personal annoyances and he is asking if they qualify him for geezerhood? Or, is he seeking solace in knowng that others of a certain age share his idiosyncracies?

Seeking solace, and permission. If YOU, at 81, are a geezer then maybe I'm (at 71) a geezerling.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:49 am

lonewolf wrote:Excessive and disfiguring piercing and tattoos.

That makes me sad. I hope that when they're my age, they still 'appreciate' what they've done to themselves, but something tells me they won't. The corrective medical procedures will be pricey, but by then, maybe they'll have tons of money, but again, I think not.
I try very, very hard not to 'judge' people who look hideous in this regard, trying to tell myself it's just my own geezerly issue, not theirs, but deep down I'm convinced it comes from their misguided belief that the piercings/tats make them singularly unique, when, of course, just the opposite is true, they are following, lemming-like, their peers down the rat-hole of, as you call it, disfigurement. They are shouting out, "Look at me and how cool I must be because I don't buy into your bourgeois conformity", while strictly conforming to their own outre peer group (of literally millions).
Oh well, this is no different that the generation that preceded me (60s love children) who hated our long hair and rock'n'roll devil's music! :D
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:58 am

True story. Showed post to my wife who started laughing and gave vent to an.....IVF.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Helen S » Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:07 am

So why is it socially acceptable for women to punch holes in their ears and their daughters ears but some people frown on this for men?

Another question here- posed to me by a non-track fan (she watches it If I do, but would not choose that on her own)- Why do virtually all women runners bare their midriff but no men do?
I could see that in really hot conditions, it makes sense and the men should follow suit, but we were watching a cool and rainy meet where only a few women wore the full body suits, while most women wore bikini briefs and a bare midriff.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:29 am

Helen S wrote:So why is it socially acceptable for women to punch holes in their ears and their daughters ears but some people frown on this for men?


First of all, I think getting little girls' ears pierced is indeed child abuse!
Walk around a college campus and you'll see how NOT 'frowned upon' men's earrings are.
Yuo answered your own question. The answer is because it IS socially more acceptable. Things are normal if enough people do it. When I go to Wal-Mart I see some VERY strange things that don't cause overt stares from anyone (mine is in my mind). Browse this site for an education:

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby no one » Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:19 am

one of my occasional 'games' is to see if I can find any players without a tattoo on televised NBA games. That, in and of itself, qualifies as geezerhood. Likewise with college games although that's easier to detect.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:10 am

As to Tats. I have a friend, old navy guy, in his early 70's, with both arms mapped with artistry. The facial jewelry however perplexes me. "How do they kiss? How do they roll over in bed? How does your dentist get around that tongue? Do you even have a dentist?
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:29 am

jeremyp wrote:How does your dentist get around that tongue? Do you even have a dentist?

The infection rate on tongue-piercings is alarmingly high.
I wonder about nose rings. How is what's going on inside the nose NOT disgusting with a stud in there too?
Or eyebrow ring. Do you really want an infection near your EYES?
We shan't even mention some of the other places that get pierced! :shock: :shock: :shock:
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Pego » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:42 am

no one wrote:one of my occasional 'games' is to see if I can find any players without a tattoo on televised NBA games. That, in and of itself, qualifies as geezerhood. Likewise with college games although that's easier to detect.


There was a guy in my battalion that was tattooed top-to-bottom. On his neck over the large vessels he had a tattooed line with a caption "cut here." The best was his foreskin, a tattoo of a bee.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby lonewolf » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:48 am

Just came from pharmacy where a very attractive, friendly, efficient young woman( 30s) assistant/clerk, who wears long sleeves and high necks in winter, was wearing a low neck, sleeveless top. Every visible square inch is colorfully tattooed from her clavical/shoulders to her wrists, much like the girl on American Pickers.
Dunno what she does off duty but she would look right in place on the back seat of a motorcycle... but she is nice and remembers my name..just don't understand what a smart, attractive young woman is thinking to go to all that trouble, pain and expense to create an unfavorable first impresson. :? :
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Conor Dary » Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:34 pm

lonewolf wrote: just don't understand what a smart, attractive young woman is thinking to go to all that trouble, pain and expense to create an unfavorable first impresson. :? :


I always think that myself. I suppose if you hang out with idiots who think that is great then there you go.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Conor Dary » Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:36 pm

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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Marlow » Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:38 pm

Pego wrote:a tattoo of a bee.

And you know this because . . . ?
Never mind - TMI! :shock: :D
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Pego » Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:40 pm

Marlow wrote:
Pego wrote:a tattoo of a bee.

And you know this because . . . ?
Never mind - TMI! :shock: :D


I was his physician. They get to see things, remember :wink: ?
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby spinoza » Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:58 pm

Pego wrote:There was a guy in my battalion that was tattooed top-to-bottom. On his neck over the large vessels he had a tattooed line with a caption "cut here." The best was his foreskin, a tattoo of a bee.


Enough, by itself, to overcome my objections to circumcision.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby no one » Tue Sep 11, 2012 6:03 pm

tattoo and piercing queen: Dennis Rodman. And a great defensive player.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby jeremyp » Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:34 am

Pego wrote:
no one wrote:one of my occasional 'games' is to see if I can find any players without a tattoo on televised NBA games. That, in and of itself, qualifies as geezerhood. Likewise with college games although that's easier to detect.


There was a guy in my battalion that was tattooed top-to-bottom. On his neck over the large vessels he had a tattooed line with a caption "cut here." The best was his foreskin, a tattoo of a bee.

What's the going rate for touching someone else's prepuce, let alone tatooing it? :shock:
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby preston » Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:50 am

1. you say "PR", personal record, instead of "PB", personal best. Yes that would be you, gh!
2. you list "AR" as American Record instead of "area record". Yup, gh, again! Try "NR"
3. you want field events to be in imperial instead of metric. Get over it!
4. "Pre" who?
5. FAT
6. Jordan, Bowerman, Elliott, Winter...self-explanatory
7. Soviet Union means a LOT to you.
8. cinders, steel poles, sawdust...self-explanatory
9. You were a member of AAU or TAC
10. you give a damn about the mile
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby lonewolf » Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:14 pm

Got me covered. :)
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby tandfman » Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:10 pm

you refer to jeans as dungarees.

(I broke myself of that lifelong habit a few decades ago, when I found that my use of that word tended to stop all conversations cold and cause the people I was with to stare at me as if I had just stepped out of a time machine.)
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby gh » Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:29 pm

dungarees, I'm thinking, was also very much a regionalism.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby tandfman » Tue Sep 18, 2012 5:40 am

gh wrote:dungarees, I'm thinking, was also very much a regionalism.

What say you on this, lonewolf?
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby lonewolf » Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:00 am

If so, the term "dungarees" never reached my region.

Pre-WWII, most rural boys in Oklahoma wore bib overalls. (Roundhouse and OshKosh) As jeans came into favor, we would buckle the shoulder straps around our waist in imitation of jeans, commonly called Levis because that was the prevailing brand.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in Oklahoma wearing overalls and "blue jeans". The next 60 years living in 8 states and 2 foreign countries. I have read the term "dungarees", without knowing exactly what type trousers/pants it referred to but I do not recall ever hearing "jeans" called dungarees.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Conor Dary » Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:38 am

In an episode of The Rockford Files, the plot of the story involves a secret Russian formula for long wearing jeans. The Navy officer who is involved in the story calls them dungarees.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby Anthony Treacher » Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:39 am

....if you go on about dungarees.

In the UK 'dungarees' might be recognized as children's combined bib and trousers, a sort of playsuit, at a stretch an adult's work clothes. And not only made of American denim jeans material but even of corduroy. And not only blue colour but brown, or green. I think during WWII the girls of the British Women's Land Army wore dungarees, which still did not detract from the girls' popularity with Italian POWs. The word obviously came from India. In the UK I do not think people would associate dungarees with jeans trousers as in the US.
Last edited by Anthony Treacher on Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby tandfman » Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:47 am

lonewolf wrote:If so, the term "dungarees" never reached my region.

Pre-WWII, most rural boys in Oklahoma wore bib overalls. (Roundhouse and OshKosh) As jeans came into favor, we would buckle the shoulder straps around our waist in imitation of jeans, commonly called Levis because that was the prevailing brand.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in Oklahoma wearing overalls and "blue jeans". The next 60 years living in 8 states and 2 foreign countries. I have read the term "dungarees", without knowing exactly what type trousers/pants it referred to but I do not recall ever hearing "jeans" called dungarees.

Thank you, lonewolf. Not that I doubted gh, but he's a bit younger than we are, and I thought that maybe it was more a question of age than region. Growing up in the East, I always referred to jeans as dungarees and I never realized that was not what everyone called them. I rarely saw bib overalls except on certain workmen, and I don't think I ever owned any. I probably would have called them overalls, rather than dungarees, which I thought of as denim pants.

Interesting comments on this subject here (scroll down):

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dungaree
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby gh » Tue Sep 18, 2012 3:15 pm

For a great analysis of regionalisms, check out this interactive map of North America to see the distribution of carbonated beverages as soda, pop, or coke.

http://www.popvssoda.com

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest calling it pop, had it turn into soda in California, and then married a woman from upstate New York who was also a pop girl.
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby gh » Tue Sep 18, 2012 3:18 pm

ooh-ooh! An even more refined chart..... soft drink by county!

http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html
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Re: Are you an old geezer if:

Postby marknhj » Tue Sep 18, 2012 3:26 pm

gh wrote:For a great analysis of regionalisms, check out this interactive map of North America to see the distribution of carbonated beverages as soda, pop, or coke.

http://www.popvssoda.com

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest calling it pop, had it turn into soda in California, and then married a woman from upstate New York who was also a pop girl.


When I moved over here in 1985 I was quite shocked to discover some words in the general vernacular that I assumed hadn't been used since the 1950-70's. Off the top of my head, four were: pop, soda, pot and dude. I'm sure I'll think of some more.
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