Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?


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Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby no one » Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:35 am

Geography aside, would you go to Adam and his mother's funeral?



If you were a close friend of a close friend of his family?
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Dutra5 » Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:20 am

Without question.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby gh » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:20 am

I haven't been to a funeral in 20 years and don't p lan on ever going to one ever again. Including my own.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby preston » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:31 am

-If Nancy Lanza was my sister or daughter I would definitely go, but then I wouldn't have waited more than 4 days to claim her body.
-I wouldn't go to Adam's funeral if he were my brother, son, father or friend.
-I would go to Javon Belcher's funeral - if I barely knew him.

I give parents a lot of blame for a lot of things, but I'm not ready to put what Adam did on his mother. Crimes of passion...just sit different with me than the crime of killing children that you don't know who have never done anything to you. Now, if the children belonged to his worst enemy...
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Marlow » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:34 am

gh wrote:I haven't been to a funeral in 20 years and don't plan on ever going to one ever again. Including my own.

I try as hard as I can to not go to funerals or wakes. Memorial services, yes.
I will not have one. Cremate me, get rid of the residue with the rest of the day's refuse, and throw a little party with some rock'n'roll, ice cream and cake. My family gets it.
That said, Lanza's death is equally as tragic as all the lives he took. No man is an island.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Pego » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:40 am

I go to visitations early enough to avoid ceremony/funeral. As far as Adam Lanza is concerned, I would ask Fred Phelps to go for me.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Marlow » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:44 am

Pego wrote:I go to visitations early enough to avoid ceremony/funeral. As far as Adam Lanza is concerned, I would ask Fred Phelps to go for me.

Of the two, Lanza probably had less hate in his heart. I believe his heart too full with the pain of living.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby TN1965 » Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:19 pm

preston wrote: I give parents a lot of blame for a lot of things, but I'm not ready to put what Adam did on his mother. Crimes of passion...just sit different with me than the crime of killing children that you don't know who have never done anything to you. Now, if the children belonged to his worst enemy...


Aside from the killer himself, I think his mother is by far the most responsible person. She knew how mentally unstable her son was (she told one of his baby sitters never to take eyes off of him, even for a second) and yet taught him how to use a gun, because she thought that would teach him "discipline." And she allowed him to have access to her guns (even if unintentionally), knowing how much danger he could cause to other people. This is incredibly irresponsible beyond imagination.

All the gun licensing and registration would mean nothing if registered gun owners like herself do not take responsibility for the guns they own. I think they should be criminally held responsible if someone else used their guns to commit crimes.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby odelltrclan » Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:25 pm

Funerals are as much about the survivors as it is about the dead, if not more. Yes, you might go to one to honor the dead, but it is a time to help the grieving and reacquaint yourself with friends and relatives you have lost touch with for whatever reason. I would not have a problem with going to Adam's funeral if I was in the family or friend circle. I am sure there was good in Adam's life. Tragic ending of course. Maybe some good healing among those who are close to him can take place because of it. I would hope people close to the family choose to go.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Marlow » Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:19 pm

odelltrclan wrote:Funerals are as much about the survivors as it is about the dead, if not more. Yes, you might go to one to honor the dead, but it is a time to help the grieving and reacquaint yourself with friends and relatives you have lost touch with for whatever reason. I would not have a problem with going to Adam's funeral if I was in the family or friend circle. I am sure there was good in Adam's life. Tragic ending of course. Maybe some good healing among those who are close to him can take place because of it. I would hope people close to the family choose to go.

Well said. I consider it MY problem that I try so hard to avoid funerals, but it's a coping mechanism, I suppose. At least I'm not expecting anyone to attend my (non-existent) funeral. We all mourn in our own ways.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby lonewolf » Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:21 pm

Funerals and memorial services are exclusively for benefit of the survivors (and the vendors). The deceased does not know whether you showed up to honor him/her or not.
Unless I were a personal friend of a Lanza survivor, I would not attend.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby donley2 » Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:41 pm

odelltrclan wrote:Funerals are as much about the survivors as it is about the dead, if not more. Yes, you might go to one to honor the dead, but it is a time to help the grieving and reacquaint yourself with friends and relatives you have lost touch with for whatever reason. I would not have a problem with going to Adam's funeral if I was in the family or friend circle. I am sure there was good in Adam's life. Tragic ending of course. Maybe some good healing among those who are close to him can take place because of it. I would hope people close to the family choose to go.


Very well put. If as a close friend or relative you go you are mainly supporting the family. I would certainly think I would go as a close friend or relative in that situation.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Master Po » Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:43 pm

agree w lonewolf. Funerals are for the living. Of course, I have no idea what it could be like to be related in any way to something as horrific as this, but were I close to someone who was a surviving family member of someone/thing that was particularly painful, and if it helped that person to have me at the funeral with him/her, then I would go. Otherwise, of course not.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Friar » Thu Dec 20, 2012 7:16 pm

I'd give him the bin Laden treatment. Toss his ashes--or corpse-- in the ocean.

My father wanted the Veteran's Cemetery deal which I assumed he thought was due him for his service (and was free).
If I'm in an unmarked grave...fine.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby jeremyp » Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:52 pm

What the question is really asking is: How do we feel about these 2. My answer is: His mother was doing her best as a mother, but she may have been blinded to the danger, or he was not showing any signs that could be picked up on. As to Adam Lanza I can only say that a human with such a disconnect between good and evil had a brain that was malfunctioned, and unfortunately no-one knew of the danger.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby no one » Fri Dec 21, 2012 6:47 am

I think these questions touch on a number of things, but my take is that ultimately it's really more a question about you/us, not the Lanza's
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby SQUACKEE » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:06 am

Only if he shot himself first
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Friar » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:33 pm

was not showing any signs

The mother told his 'sitter to "not turn his back on him"(Lanza). She didn't say why but the inference was that something really bad could happen.
If she knew that was the case putting some high-powered weapons --even if locked-- in her home was negligent to say the least.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Dave » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:53 pm

Pego wrote:I go to visitations early enough to avoid ceremony/funeral. As far as Adam Lanza is concerned, I would ask Fred Phelps to go for me.


He and Wayne LaPierre could sit together.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Dutra5 » Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:21 am

TN1965 wrote:
preston wrote: I give parents a lot of blame for a lot of things, but I'm not ready to put what Adam did on his mother. Crimes of passion...just sit different with me than the crime of killing children that you don't know who have never done anything to you. Now, if the children belonged to his worst enemy...


Aside from the killer himself, I think his mother is by far the most responsible person. She knew how mentally unstable her son was (she told one of his baby sitters never to take eyes off of him, even for a second) and yet taught him how to use a gun, because she thought that would teach him "discipline." And she allowed him to have access to her guns (even if unintentionally), knowing how much danger he could cause to other people. This is incredibly irresponsible beyond imagination.

All the gun licensing and registration would mean nothing if registered gun owners like herself do not take responsibility for the guns they own. I think they should be criminally held responsible if someone else used their guns to commit crimes.


As an aside....this is what should have been put forth by the NRA yesterday rather than what we got in the address by Mr. LaPierre who apparently went to the Bud Selig school of being the face of an organization.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby jeremyp » Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:42 am

Friar wrote:
was not showing any signs

The mother told his 'sitter to "not turn his back on him"(Lanza). She didn't say why but the inference was that something really bad could happen.
If she knew that was the case putting some high-powered weapons --even if locked-- in her home was negligent to say the least.

I saw nothing in what this guy said that implied violence. If he was tending a kid with ADHD he might get the same instructions, or a developmentally challenged kid like Lanza. We don't know much about Lanza or his mother to say anything definitively, and I still guess that had he shown any tendency towards acting out against people she would have ditched the guns. Right now too much is being said that is made up or conjecture, as it still is about Columbine.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby tandfman » Sat Dec 22, 2012 6:50 pm

no one wrote:Geography aside, would you go to Adam and his mother's funeral?

If you were a close friend of a close friend of his family?

I would go to those funerals if, and only if, they were close blood relatives. If any my closest friends turned out to be what he was, and did what he did, I'd be nowhere near the funeral. Of course, I have to suspect that Adam had no close friends.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby bad hammy » Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:19 pm

Another school shooting today, in California. (Fortunately no dead reported so far.) At least one other major difference: no weapons of mass murder. The relative the shooter 'borrowed' the gun from (a brother this time) only had a shotgun.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/10/us/califo ... ?hpt=hp_t1
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby jazzcyclist » Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:57 pm

Do you remember how the Amish reacted after their young schoolgirls were massacred?

Since the tragedy, people around the world have been inspired by the way the Amish expressed forgiveness toward the killer and his family. But while their acts of forgiveness were inspiring, they also caused a misperception that the Amish had quickly gotten over the tragedy.

Forgiving the Killer

Charles Roberts wasn't Amish, but Amish families knew him as the milk truck driver who made deliveries. Last month, it was announced that the Amish community had donated money to the killer's widow and her three young children.

It was one more gesture of forgiveness, gestures that began soon after the shooting.

Donald Kraybill, is a sociologist at nearby Elizabethtown College and co-author of Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy.

"I think the most powerful demonstration of the depth of Amish forgiveness was when members of the Amish community went to the killer's burial service at the cemetery," Kraybill says. "Several families, Amish families who had buried their own daughters just the day before were in attendance and they hugged the widow, and hugged other members of the killer's family."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... d=14900930

Of course that schoolhouse shooting didn't generate the national media outrage and calls for sweeping gun control legislation that the Connecticut schoolgirl massacre did.

There are about two billion people in the world who call themselves Christians, but very few of them are Christ-like.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Pego » Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:56 am

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/emo ... 39529.html

This sounds a lot more appropriate response to me than the "Amish forgiveness."

"The father of a woman killed in the Aurora movie theater shooting shouted "Rot in hell, Holmes" moments after the judge put off arraigning the suspected gunman, James Holmes."
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby lonewolf » Fri Jan 11, 2013 12:38 pm

I'm with Pego..
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby tandfman » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:18 pm

Me too.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Conor Dary » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:29 pm

Ditto.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby jazzcyclist » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:33 pm

Pego wrote:This sounds a lot more appropriate response to me than the "Amish forgiveness."

Appropriate? For whom? Is it inappropiate for the Amish react the way Jesus did to his crucifiers and the way Pope John Paul II did to his attempted assassin?
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Pego » Fri Jan 11, 2013 1:42 pm

jazzcyclist wrote:
Pego wrote:This sounds a lot more appropriate response to me than the "Amish forgiveness."

Appropriate? For whom? Is it inappropiate for the Amish react the way Jesus did to his crucifiers and the way Pope John Paul II did to his attempted assassin?


I am not going to discuss theology on this forum. Not Jesus, not the Pope.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby jazzcyclist » Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:10 pm

Pego wrote:I am not going to discuss theology on this forum. Not Jesus, not the Pope.

That's a good idea but I thought you opened that can of worms when you seemed to speak disapprovingly of "Amish forgiveness".
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby Pego » Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:27 pm

jazzcyclist wrote:
Pego wrote:I am not going to discuss theology on this forum. Not Jesus, not the Pope.

That's a good idea but I thought you opened that can of worms when you seemed to speak disapprovingly of "Amish forgiveness".


All right, this much and then I'll permanently shut up. I do not believe the sincerity of that "forgiveness." They did it because they believe in the Biblical code of conduct (exactly the one you mentioned). I shall say no more.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby TN1965 » Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:07 pm

jazzcyclist wrote:Do you remember how the Amish reacted after their young schoolgirls were massacred?

Since the tragedy, people around the world have been inspired by the way the Amish expressed forgiveness toward the killer and his family. But while their acts of forgiveness were inspiring, they also caused a misperception that the Amish had quickly gotten over the tragedy.

Forgiving the Killer

Charles Roberts wasn't Amish, but Amish families knew him as the milk truck driver who made deliveries. Last month, it was announced that the Amish community had donated money to the killer's widow and her three young children.

It was one more gesture of forgiveness, gestures that began soon after the shooting.

Donald Kraybill, is a sociologist at nearby Elizabethtown College and co-author of Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy.

"I think the most powerful demonstration of the depth of Amish forgiveness was when members of the Amish community went to the killer's burial service at the cemetery," Kraybill says. "Several families, Amish families who had buried their own daughters just the day before were in attendance and they hugged the widow, and hugged other members of the killer's family."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... d=14900930

Of course that schoolhouse shooting didn't generate the national media outrage and calls for sweeping gun control legislation that the Connecticut schoolgirl massacre did.

There are about two billion people in the world who call themselves Christians, but very few of them are Christ-like.


Did this killer's widow and children help him to commit his crime like Nancy Lanza did to her son?

If not, it is apples and oranges. I would have more sympathy for Nancy Lanza if she had been actually a victim.
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Re: Would you go to Adam Lanza's funeral?

Postby jazzcyclist » Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:29 pm

TN1965 wrote:Did this killer's widow and children help him to commit his crime like Nancy Lanza did to her son?

If not, it is apples and oranges. I would have more sympathy for Nancy Lanza if she had been actually a victim.

Either you're unfamiliar with the details of Adam Lanza's crime or you're using some very convoluted and twisted logic if you're arguing that Nancy Lanza was a co-conspirator, and not a victim of her son's crime. :?

By the way, the gun debate thread has already been locked, so there's no need to revisit that topic.
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