From the Mouthpiece


A place for the discussion of all things not closely related to the sport and its competitive side. (as always, locked for the duration of major international championship)

From the Mouthpiece

Postby Pego » Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:08 pm

m] b i t s . n . b o b s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Many laws have been formulated over the years. There are
several books that quote various laws, here's a few you
might like:

* ANTHONY'S WORKSHOP LAW:
Any tool, when dropped, always rolls into the most inaccess-
ible corner of the workshop.
* COROLLARY: on the way to the corner, any dropped tool will
always fall on your toe.

* BOREN'S LAWS:
1. When in doubt, mumble
2. When in trouble, delegate
3. When in charge, ponder

* THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS LAWS:
1. If it doesn't run off the mains, batteries are never
included
2. If it does run off the mains, a plug is never included
3. Everything is designed to break by Dec 26
4. If you can wear it, it's the wrong size
5. If it fits, the color is never right

* CLAY'S CONCLUSION
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

* DONOHUE'S LAW
If a thing's worth doing, make sure you do it for money.

* GARDENING LAWS
1. The rake you step on is always teeth up, so not only does
it injure your foot, but it also smacks you in the mouth
with the handle
2. Other people's tools only work in other people's gardens
3. Gimmicky devices don't work
4. You get the most flowers or vegetables of the sort that
you need the least
5. It always rains after you've watered the lawn
6. If you've spent days planning to have a bonfire or a
barbecue, when you finally light it, all your neighbors
decide to hang out their washing

* JOHN'S COLLATERAL COROLLARY
In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't
need it.

* JONES' LAW
The man who can smile when things are going wrong, has just
thought of someone he can blame it on.

* LEWANDOWSKI'S AIR-TURBULENCE PRINCIPLE
An airline flight will remain smooth until meal and/or drinks
service begins. A smooth flight will resume when meal and/or
drinks service ends.

* THE MONEY MAXIM
Money isn't everything - for one thing, it isn't plentiful.

* PALMER'S LAW
The only thing better than a lie is a true story that noone
will believe.

* ROSE'S LAW OF INVESTMENT
Never invest in anything that has to be painted or fed.

* SWARTZ'S MAXIM
Live every day as if it were your last, and one day you'll
be right.

* VARGAS'S LAWS
1. If directions to a place include the words 'you can't
miss it', you will.
2. There is no such thing as a little garlic - or a mild
heart attack - or a few children
3. A jar that cannot be opened by any combination of house-
hold tools, force and determination, will instantly open if
picked up by the lid.

* WEILER'S LAW
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it
himself.

[Courtesy of AndyChaps]
Pego
 
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