A thread disappeared today because it veered dangerously into the D subject. After my chastisification (a term I’m sure George W coined somewhere) from the powers that be, I examined my culpability (guilty as charged – I apologize to Powell et al) and came to a startling conclusion: every single ranked athlete is on drugs! Herewith I submit my proof –
1. An athlete has a breakthrough performance – drugs!
2. An athlete has a sub-par performanace – had to get off drugs!
3. An athlete misses a meet due to illness or injury – was dirty and had to clean out system!
4. An athlete takes some down-time – building up on drugs!
5. An athlete competes often – gotta be the drugs!
6. An athlete has any medical condition – too much drugs!
7. An athlete is always healthy – good drugs!
8. An athlete says he/she is clean – hypocrite, trying to deflect accusations
9. An athlete retires – was gonna get caught
10. An athlete reaches world class – now on drugs
We have become so paranoid that we can rationalize every single athlete’s every single performance as being somehow drug related. How sad is that? Are there cheats? Yes. Are there clean athletes? Yes. How do we tell them apart? WE don’t. The authorities charged with that responsibility do. Is the testing/reporting system flawed? Yes. Will it get fixed any time soon? Probably not. Is it all we’ve got? Yes – for now. So far our solution to clean up the sport is to blow the whistle on everyone we can, hoping that some of the accused athletes are actually guilty, so we can say, “Aha, I told you so.”
Here’s my proposal (mostly to myself):
A. We present facts, with substantiation, whenever we get them (which in my case would be, oh yeah, never!) that someone is using drugs.
B. Shut the F up.
Speculation, however well meaning (and mine was oh so well meaning – not), only makes us look stupider than we already do the sporting public (is that possible?). Remember PAULIE? (RIP?) What did he add to the discussion? I rest my case.